HELP WITH PARENTING YOUR TEEN
The teenage years – hell on earth or not? Let me ask you a few questions:
- • Is your family trapped in a Teenage vortex?
- • Are you fed up with doors slamming, eye – rolling, breaking rules?Wondering what to do about it? Was your answer ‘ yes ‘ to any or all of them?
Well, dear parents of teenagers, I have the answer to your problems.
Parenting your Teen Through Chaos and Crisis
A new book, Parenting your Teen Through Chaos and Crisis by Patty Scott will revolutionize the way you parent your teen.
This post is an honest review of the book. It is a short book: it consists of 8 chapters and is only 130 pages long.
She has achieved that and much more. Having gained a Masters in Marriage and Family Counselling, Patty is keen to offer support to parents who are facing challenges with their teenagers.
Patty set out in this book to give parents ‘ tangible support ’ while in the throes of one teen conflict after another.
Here’s an excerpt which shows her intention with this book:
As a family, we’ve lived through our share of adolescent ups and downs. I know what it’s like to need a listening ear and more than an ounce of wisdom to get through the hard days. This book contains the seven most useful insights I’ve gained along with practical tools for navigating some of the hardest years of your parenting.
WHO SHOULD BUY PARENTING YOUR TEEN THROUGH CHAOS AND CRISIS?
This book is for you if you need a quick read to get tips on parenting your teen better but all parents can benefit from it.
WHAT ARE THE 7 MOST USEFUL INSIGHTS INTO PARENTING TEENS
- • Quit the guilt for your teen’s wayward behavior.
- • Ditch the control streak with your moody, difficult teen.
- • Try positive influence rather than control with your teen.
- • Let your teen learn from the natural consequences of his actions.
- • Readily admit to a parenting fail to model humility.
- • Exercise your choice as a parent to enforce consequences.
- • No matter how difficult, stay connected to your teen.
WHY DO I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK
This book offers simple tips parents can use to parent your teen during the terrible teenage years.
It enables you to move from grin and bear to proactive, positive parenting.
THE OPPORTUNITY FOR A PARENTING DO – OVER
Patty describes parenting during the teen years as walking a tightrope.
Think about your parenting style. Do you damn or guide? Do you disconnect or support?
You may have a take a radical step and scrap or revamp your parenting style.
ESSENTIAL VALUES TO PARENT TEENS
The parenting do-over leads you to model certain desirable values to your teen.
Accept that there will be major confrontations when your teen hits the tricky teen years – emotional outbursts, finger pointing, verbal attacks.
But never forget what your role is – to bolster and give support – vent to your partner or friend but keep that goal in mind
Understand that your teen is like molten lava during these years.
Anything, whether right or not, can provoke an eruption of intense fury. Very often they directed harshly at you.
How you deal with them will determine your future adult relationship with your teen.
Do not take things personally even though it may hurt like a hell.
As a parent, you have been granted a unique opportunity to guide and steer your teen to adulthood. So, you need to do everything possible to provide support, comfort, and understanding to help him on this route.
This may be a big ask for those of you caught in the spiderweb of teenage issues like drugs. You may have to master the art of swallowing your words rather than speaking your mind to help your teen better.
CONSEQUENCES + DWYWD
Decide what you will do (DWYWD ) and follow through no matter how difficult.
Patty advises natural consequences as they are the ‘ best teachers’.
As a parent, you offer support any way you can but the hard work has to be done by the teen
Patty’s real-life examples will win you over on this score.
If you have slipped up with a decision that affects your teen, apologize at once. Humility and love go hand in hand when parenting teens. They observe all that you do so modeling the values you want your teen to show is important.
You need to look past the snarky remarks and the rule breaking.
Knock the fight out of your defensive teen by refusing to engage in a verbal fight. Remain calm and do not interact in and out of anger.
Remember you’re the adult and never forget your teen is desperately trying to find his place amidst ongoing physical, emotional and social challenges
You have a vital role to play – maintain contact, stay involved, support to the extent that your teen allows – keep the emotional bond with lots of hugs and loving communication.
Continue traditions such as movie nights or Sunday morning walks to involve your teen in family activities.
Never forget the kid who loved to cuddle and have you tuck him into bed. He’s still there buried under the moodiness and attitude.
If your teen is hanging out with kids you do not approve of, the last thing you want to do is show it.
Instead, provide a counterbalance with positive influences Some of it will rub off onto your teen and may even cancel out the negative influences.
- – Regularly invite people into your home who show the qualities you value.
- – Get your teen a mentor, someone he likes and trusts.
- – Have regular inclusive conversations about the media in general
both the good and the bad
BUILD A SUPPORT NETWORK
It is vital to build a tribe to whom you can go for loving support when things get tough. They can be family, friends or even neighbors.
Join online forums or facebook groups to find encouragement and motivation when you feel like you can’t cope with teen issues.
Patty found her support in God, her church, and fellow churchgoers. Whatever your faith, seek refuge in it and like-minded people.
If the teen is depressed, suicidal or indulging in things like self-harming, cruelty to animals, bullying, drug taking or theft get the help of a counselor, church or therapist.
If you are caught in the quicksand of parenting a teenager, this book is for you.
Have you read any other helpful books about parenting teenagers?
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