Are you desperate for simple but effective tips on how to love your teenager unconditionally?
Perhaps you’re sick of your ringside seat to your teen’s tantrums, and moodiness. Maybe, you want the hurtful, spiteful nasty barbs aimed at you to stop.
But even though he is at his most unlovable right now, you want him to feel loved and supported.
Just how do you do that when you feel as if your teen has morphed into an alien being?
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The time has come to stop whining about your teenager and to try to figure out what makes him tick.
Check out this video entitled About your disrespectful teenager to get an insight into your teen’s life:
You need to create a master plan to parent your teen from a place of understanding.
This is the foundation to building a relationship with your teen that will withstand the troublesome teen years.
Here are a few books I sourced to help you:
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey
- Parenting Teens With Love And Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood, Updated and Expanded Edition by Foster Cline and Jim Fay
- The Grown-Up’s Guide to Teenage Humans: How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult
by Josh Ship
Ready? Let’s dive right in to the action plan
The recipe to give your relationship with your teen a make over is a simple one.
Find ways to spend one on one time with him doing simple laid back activities.
At first he may rebuff your efforts. Hurt at his rejection, you may be tempted to give up.
But don’t quit on him when he needs you the most. This is a golden opportunity to help him weather the stormy teen years.
But, like a good coach, keep your eye on the prize – building a foundation for the lasting bond you will have with him as a young adult.
You may be at a total loss about how to do this. Don’t worry. I got your back on this one.
I have a special 30 day action plan to hand hold you through the process. Just click the graphic below to get the FREE resource to transform your relationship with your teen.
Here are 10 small ways to jumpstart a better relationship with your teen
1. Take a quiz together
Have you ever taken an entertainment quiz? They are fun and give you a sneaky way to get to know your competitors.
Why not take a quiz with your based on a TV show you both love. Take the quiz and find out more about your teen minus the FBI-type questions.
Here are a few quizes to try out all based on popular TV characters.
TEENAGE LIFE: WHY YOUR SUPPORT IS VITAL
2. Smart ways to get your teen to open up
Does talking to your teen feel like you’re talking to a wall?
This post suggests that the best way to get your teen to talking is to use ‘the parallel position’. In other words, when you are facing the same way and not each other.
Think about the last time you had a great talk with your teen. Chances are you were driving to a game, or taking a walk or playing a board game.
Teens feel safe to talk when the focus is not 100% on them. They find face to face conversations overwhelming and intimidating. They’re afraid you have high expectations and fear they may disappoint you.
So find opportunities where you are together but not face to face to talk.
3. Text your teen
Avoid frequent long gushy texts with hearts and kisses and intead find a personal emoji to use exclusively with him.Try to keep your texts short and funny so he can share it if he wishes.This will allow him to keep his cool status with his friends.
4. Start a new secret tradition
You know that teens love to eat so tap into this to show you love them.
A great idea is to start bonding at home over a late night snack.
Make a delicious sandwich which he loves and invite him to join you. Your teen will love the idea of a secret time with you.
Make it a regular date with your teen and soon you will be in the know about what’s going on with him.
5. Make him laugh
Laughter is a sure fire way to win your teen over. Long winded jokes with word play are often lost on them because of their short attention spans.
So arm yourself with a list of funny one liner jokes and let them rip at an opportune moment.
You could also text him a joke now and then. Avoid sounding needy and desperate by bombarding him with too many jokes.
This post has jokes guaranteed to get your teen guffawing.
6. Catch a sunrise together
Have you ever seen the sun rise? It’s such a majestic sight that you’re left in awe at its beauty.
Why not set up a sunrise date to give your teen this unique gift?
Just sit in silence together and allow the splendor of nature to wash over you.
Being out in nature invites reflection and is likely to promote positive values such as compassion, kindness and gratitude in your teen.
It certainly brings awareness and focus to what is important in life.
7. Give him a responsible task to do
An awesome way to build trust with your teen is to give him a responsible task.
First, get to know your teen’s strengths and then give him a task that aligns with them.
For example your teen may be great with research. Ask him to look at deals for your next family vacation.
Or he may be a computer whiz so ask him to create a digital filing system for all your important documents so you can reduce paper clutter.
This is a sure fire way to boost your teen’s self esteem and confidence and strengthen your relationship as well
8. Cook together
Why not seize the chance to connect by cooking with your teen?
As you slice and dice, season and taste, start a simple chat with a few non invasive questions. Since his focus is on a task, he is likely to share the minutiae of his day with you.
Allow him to talk and you listen with 100% of your attention. A few cooking dates like this and you will soon have the inside scoop on your teen’s life.
9. Hold a Friends Meet-up
One of the best ways to show your love and support for your teen is to get to know his friends.
Give your teenager the ok to have friends over once a week (or month). This is not an easy to decision to make – teens eat a lot, are messy and will challenge you in ways you can not anticipate.
But you get the chance to see your teen through a new lens. To get to know the the young adult in the making – his likes, dreams and hopes.
Make your teen’s friends know they’re welcome to hang out at your house but you have rules they’re expected to follow.
Your teen will be happy that you trust him to have his friends over frequently.
10. Get creative
Work on a project together. Ideally, it should be something that you both love and an activity you can do on a weekly basis.
Some ideas to consider:
- Tech projects like starting a family newsletter or starting a blog
- A side hustle like selling custom T shirts
- A fundraising project for a local charity
Doing a creative project together is the perfect side by side activity. There is much ‘doing’ which makes your teen feel safe to talk. Often, it’s key to chiselling at the wall your teen has built around him.
Other parenting posts you may like:
Final thoughts on how to love your teenager unconditionally
So I hope you’re smarter and wiser now about how to sneak in quality one on one time with your teen so that he knows that you have his back no matter what.
Do you have any tips to share on how to love and support your teen ? Share them in the comments below.